So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
