Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
