He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
