We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
