Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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