Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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