You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
