vagina is talking i cant
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
