woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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