Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
