Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
