I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
