I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
