I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
