So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
