paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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