Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm both gender and math confused
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
