We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
