I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
