Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
