You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
