Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
