i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
