I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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