She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
