One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
