thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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