my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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