But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
