Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
