She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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