come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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