The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
