I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
