they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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