i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
