Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
