somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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