there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
