Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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