i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
