i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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