New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
