maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
