White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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