I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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