dude i'm inner monologue high
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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