I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
