We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
