I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
